I can only name one other friend of mine that truly loves Linkin Park as much as I do, and that’s just perfectly fine for my heart; but not for my proud, #humblebragging creativity monster within.
I joined Linkin Park Association, only to give up within the hour (of course, I’ll still be a member of it, and love it. Just not for this… or any photos). I could not post more than three lousy images in an album, so I decided- “Hey, I should just make a thread, and post my pictures there.” That failed miserably, as well, not even managing to just upload a single image. That’s when a blog came to mind.
I don’t know how Tumblr really works, other than reposting others’ images of the one band so dear to me, so it’ll definitely be this blog. Will it get tons of feedback and comments like Mike Shinoda’s blog? Who knows (Yeah right). <3
A little explanation to what has been called as “The Linkinfication of Tasha’s Room,” however, is first; I was not rewarded federal aid money for Fall 2011 at CSU-Northridge, so as of June 14th, 2011, I was pretty much without school. Paying tuition was not possible, much less with the timing in which I was notified, so it was official- my fourth year of college will not be starting in August. Many of my friends and people-Facebook-calls-my-friends thought I was lucky and should appreciate a break from school- not easy to do when you also lose your job.
I’ve been tutoring general chemistry since my second effin’ semester. How bad-ass is that? Very. For $12.00 an hour (just $3.00 less than a graduate!) I basically provided “free” tutoring to countless students. I actually liked to say “Use and abuse us. We are paid to help you. For free! Take advantage of us!” Got them to actually appreciate such a service. But I was no longer helping freshmen or students way older than me, and seeing their light-bulbs click or testing my patience (I’m Cuban- it’s very little but I push it beyond extremes. Fuck yeah!). Not being enrolled in a minimum of 4 units meant I couldn’t work for CSUN, so I couldn’t tutor anymore.
Try enjoying life without a fuckin’ job to pay for the pleasures, assholes.
Summer went by fine, since it hadn’t really registered yet, and I spent it harassing a friend and co-worker of mine on campus. But then the Facebook statuses started, about 2 weeks before classes started. “OMG why did i get stuck with saturday classes?” and “Shit, I don’t have my books yet!” and “Wat r ur classes guys? My schdule is the WORST.”
It started getting really fuckin’ depressing, realizing I couldn’t start complaining or freaking out about school like everyone else. The first day was weird, waking up in a scare and thinking I was already late for my first damn day. The first week was spent visiting campus, explaining to people why I wasn’t in school, etc. My close group of friends from lab started planning when to have our weekly dinners, and I was the only one who could do any day. I had no fuckin’ life. My only comfort was that they still thought of me and considered me a definite show for dinner.
Then my first weekend without studying, or homework, or procrastinating came- and I started bawling.
I have been in school from kindergarten (I called and spelled it as ‘kindergarden‘ up until 11th grade….) to the last year of senior high, and immediately went into 3 years of college. I knew nothing else! I found I didn’t know what to do with 20 hours in a day, 7 days a week (insomniac since 6th grade, yo.) so I shamelessly broke down and hated my current chapter in life in just 8 lame days. Sad and pathetic.
So, to fight a depression I knew all too well from before, I forced myself to find entertainment, and I did- my room. I have an obsession with paper and books, and I have hoarded up quite the collection of Linkin Park things, so my room was always crowded… I started piling up towards the ceiling when I could no longer go around my room and use up the general level of horizontal space. So I figured a deep-cleaning and revampification of my room could keep me busy.
I ended up completely tearing my room apart, baring it all, and had a clean slate to make it mine. I knew whatever came out during this hard and desperate time would truly be from my heart, so I wasn’t necessarily surprised of how it ended. I brought out my precious collection of Linkin Park, and even went ahead and adding my own expressions of them. I have loved them for a whole decade- pretty much half my fuckin’ life. I’ve always needed them, but these past months, I needed happiness and faith and safety- and there was Linkin Park.
There is no doubt, that they are a part of my life and heart.
I hope as my blog grows, and I share my photos, I can start explaining and sharing emotions and stories of my many years loving this band, that have saved me one way or another countless times. I just, need to show someone how much they mean to me, and here it is.
Here ends my foreword cleverly titled after a song track, and I’ll introduce you to my pride and joy….